I have a label. It is dis.a.bil.i.ty: an impairment of function. You might think that it doesn’t matter. After all, there is nothing tragic about wheeling around in a wheelchair. You’re right. Until I try to become part of the world around me.
Making the decision to participate in the public arena takes courage. Frequently, people react to my presence with patronization, irritation, intrusive gazes or disregard. In effect, I am marginalized. Garnering the strength to face the pity, hostility, and condescension requires planning and determination on my part. The effort is physically and emotionally
draining. Sometimes, I do not have the fortitude to face another day wherein not only am I struggling with my impairment, but I am also wrestling with a myriad of social barriers. Even with ADA requirements, society functions with the assumption that everyone is healthy and non-disabled. Although, the most egregious barriers are the unacknowledged prejudices that are prevalent in society.
Recently, I went out to lunch with a friend. The bathroom (which had the compliant ADA handicap symbol) was not large enough to accommodate my wheelchair. I had to use the facility with the door to the stall left open. This humiliation is not an uncommon experience. Many times, public facilities lay claim to being compliant, but in reality they are not. Checkout counters are blocked by display cases, napkin holders are out of reach, doors are without an activation control button, and stairs are without ramps. Physical barriers prick my energy, but the subtle hostility of people lance me and drain me of all tolerance. I am constantly confronted with the stranger who is prejudiced against anyone who needs special treatment. There is an unspoken expectation that my needs should not be greater than theirs. They are jealous that I get a special parking spot, that I need chairs moved out of my way, or any number of other disruptions to society’s organization of how things should work. I am stigmatized.
These struggles are not mine alone to bear. They are borne by all who have a dis.a.bil.i.ty. Bearing this socially construed label brings harm to the psycho-emotional well-being of all of us who have been, are, and will continue to be stigmatized. We are battered by the demand to be un-disabled. However, the struggle against an affliction (which limits our ability to function) is light in comparison with the feelings of being worthless, a failure, burdensome, and crazy. If we are not careful, we will be brainwashed and internalize the oppression that we face every day.
How often do we try to pass as being able? How often do we excuse rude behavior? Are we allowing our self-esteem to be damaged? We know that our caretakers get drained and that the public does not understand our daily battles. Therefore, we feel pressured to accommodate the abled individual. The result? A loss of our value. The hidden emotional toll of anxiety and loss of community burrows into our heart. Another energy drain.
Rather than being disabled, we need to disabuse the public of their labeling system. As another blogger (Tony Single) stated, “Labels are not for people. ..We’ve lost touch with our hearts. Our identities are rubber stamped. Society dictates our self worth.” (unbolt.wordpress.com.)
Not only do we need to change society’s understanding of who we are, we need to stop our own madness. We are not our disease. All of us are functionally limited. Working together, we can empower the individual to become part of the whole. For we are a socially-conscious unit, and what we do to each individual has an effect on the whole. There is a Bible passage that states this concept eloquently:
“The eye cannot say to the hand, “I do not need you.” Nor can the head say to the feet, “I do not need you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts we consider less honorable, we treat with greater honor. And our unpresentable parts are treated with special modesty, whereas our presentable parts have no such need.
But God has composed the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its members should have mutual concern for one another. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.” (I Cor. 12:21-26.)
Let's get to the elephant first: I have myotonic dystrophy which defines my physical limitations, but it does not define me. Without the distraction of physical activities, I have found my passions: (1) Encouraging others to live more fully with fun, faith, and hope; (2) finding freedom in oil painting; (3) writing about my experiences; and (4) encouraging others to live more passionately.
It is my belief that every person lives with at least one disability - for impairments are not limited to those with chronic illnesses. Many neurotypical people are psychological architects who have constructed enclosures in which they trap themselves. Mindsets, attitudes, and perceptions are fluid realities.
Many of us have forgotten that it is possible how to live beyond our disabilities. Life may have challenges but faith and hope are within reach. I have made my choice: I am LivingFreeWithdisAbilities.
View all posts by Rose Wolfe (Living Free with disAbilities)
19 thoughts on “The Social Construct of dis.a.bil.i.ty”
This kind of discrimination happens too often. Society has a LONG way to go…
Sorry to hear about the inadequate toilet. That kind of thing is very upsetting. If no one could shut the door it REALLY wouldn’t be allowed.
Good point:”If no one could shut the door it really wouldn’t be allowed.” I never thought about that! You made me laugh. Just the image of all those able-bodied woman having to use the toilet with their stall doors open. Haha. Love and hugs to you, dear friend. 😊
Yes I do, and you are so right! There will always be those people though who just are a dollar short in most emotionally, intelligent matters. It’s unfortunate.
You have a gift for putting words around your experience, and have a lot to teach. It’s not at all an exact corollary, but I’m a speech-language pathologist and I work with students with communication difficulties. Kids with the most limited communication skills are thought to have little to say. It’s not necessarily that by a longshot! It’s that they lack the capacity and/or tools to communicate, and so often assumptions are made. Your post reminded me of how dangerous and limiting assumptions can be.
It must be very frustrating to have the feelings and not to have “the capacity and/or tools to communicate” in a productive way. Thank you for your comments. We learn from each other.
The pressure to accommodate the demands of people who consider themselves more worthy is the most common experience of marginalized people whether it is race, sexual preference, disability or gender. Some disabilities are treated as more shameful than others. Imagine the horror of being psychotically disabled in a culture that believes you deserve to starve to death on the streets in front of hundreds of people who step over and around you every day.
The U.S. is a nightmare of contradictions and hypocrisy when it comes to the treatment of people with disabilities. We have the illusion of the ADA but as you point out, with no regulatory body to enforce compliance these ‘rights’ don’t exist.
You succinctly highlighted the failures of our society. The “horror of being psychotically disabled” should be breaking our hearts open with compassion. Yet, as a society, we choose to ignore their plight. The ADA is merely a tool whereby the ableist can pat themselves on the back with self-congratulations. Thank you for your thoughtful comments.
Thank you for understanding my point. The disabled have no rights as long as it remains acceptable for hospitals to discharge us to the streets without follow up care.
To pass ‘civil rights’ legislation for the disabled even as our state and federal government removes supports and access to treatment is less than useless and more than the rankest hypocrisy.
The rePurposed Life 
This kind of discrimination happens too often. Society has a LONG way to go…
Sorry to hear about the inadequate toilet. That kind of thing is very upsetting. If no one could shut the door it REALLY wouldn’t be allowed.
Love + hugs! 🐻 💜
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Good point:”If no one could shut the door it really wouldn’t be allowed.” I never thought about that! You made me laugh. Just the image of all those able-bodied woman having to use the toilet with their stall doors open. Haha. Love and hugs to you, dear friend. 😊
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Laughter is the best medicine 😀
I think you should paint that idea, haha. 😉
All the best 🌹
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These words helped so much to adjust my perspective. If ever I treat you like “less-than” run over my bunion. Keep on writing. So prolific.
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Thank you. You have a good heart and have always treated me as part of the community.
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By the way…love the artwork!
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💜
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Whoohooo You Tell Em Rose 🙂
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Thanks. I knew you would understand.
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Yes I do, and you are so right! There will always be those people though who just are a dollar short in most emotionally, intelligent matters. It’s unfortunate.
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You are not only a very talented artist, but you are also a very gifted writer, Rose! You continue to amaze me! Love you!
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I really enjoyed this because you are so spot on. Thank you.
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Thank you.
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You have a gift for putting words around your experience, and have a lot to teach. It’s not at all an exact corollary, but I’m a speech-language pathologist and I work with students with communication difficulties. Kids with the most limited communication skills are thought to have little to say. It’s not necessarily that by a longshot! It’s that they lack the capacity and/or tools to communicate, and so often assumptions are made. Your post reminded me of how dangerous and limiting assumptions can be.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It must be very frustrating to have the feelings and not to have “the capacity and/or tools to communicate” in a productive way. Thank you for your comments. We learn from each other.
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The pressure to accommodate the demands of people who consider themselves more worthy is the most common experience of marginalized people whether it is race, sexual preference, disability or gender. Some disabilities are treated as more shameful than others. Imagine the horror of being psychotically disabled in a culture that believes you deserve to starve to death on the streets in front of hundreds of people who step over and around you every day.
The U.S. is a nightmare of contradictions and hypocrisy when it comes to the treatment of people with disabilities. We have the illusion of the ADA but as you point out, with no regulatory body to enforce compliance these ‘rights’ don’t exist.
“Rights” are a lie if you can’t afford a lawyer.
Thank you for an excellent post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You succinctly highlighted the failures of our society. The “horror of being psychotically disabled” should be breaking our hearts open with compassion. Yet, as a society, we choose to ignore their plight. The ADA is merely a tool whereby the ableist can pat themselves on the back with self-congratulations. Thank you for your thoughtful comments.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for understanding my point. The disabled have no rights as long as it remains acceptable for hospitals to discharge us to the streets without follow up care.
To pass ‘civil rights’ legislation for the disabled even as our state and federal government removes supports and access to treatment is less than useless and more than the rankest hypocrisy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on ~The Pink Lemonade Ladies~.
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