Looking Through a Glass Darkly

Perception_edited-1

You just might be wrong.

Because you believe something doesn’t make it true.  Your perception is a reality, not the reality.

Take my uncle for example.  Diagnosed with myotonic dystrophy in his 40s, he was scuttled off to live with his 82-year-old mother.  As soon as he heard the news, he was done.  It was his free ticket to sit all day, watching television, while his mother did all the work. He did nothing – not one thing.

For four years she waited on him.  By the time my grandmother was 86, she needed help herself. So, we made room, and they came to live with my family and me.  Four adults and two children in a three-bedroom ranch. The roles were modified. Now, my grandmother and uncle both sat and watched television from morning to night. They did notPerception
participate in any family events. They did not want to do anything. They did nothing – not one thing. I did all the work. It was okay with me. I did it because it needed to be done. No expectations and no rewards.

So, what was my motivation?  My grandmother and uncle needed help. Neither one had ever been kind to me. It was a fact. I didn’t care. The relationships were determined the moment I was born. (Probably before I was born.)

What does this have to do with truth and perception?  My uncle was a skeptic.  He would tell me I had an ulterior motive. “What motive could I have?” I would ask. “You have nothing. Grandma has nothing.  I am taking care of you because you need a caregiver.”  He never answered the question. He refused to believe that I took them in because they needed help.  He would not (could not?) understand that their lack of grace towards me did not determine my actions towards them.  He could only see life as a reflection of himself.

Grandma’s point of view?  I don’t know.  She would tell me stories of her life. In all of them, she was the sad victim.  I would wipe her tears.  Unhappy and dissatisfied, she looked at life through a glass streaked and stained with misery.

Today, I live wiPerception_edited-2th myotonic dystrophy.  I do not sit all day watching television.  I write, read, and paint.  In addition, I visit people and invite people into my home.  I attend church, a writer’s group, and a painting class.  What do I see?  Hope and love.  Why?  Because my belief is based on a faith in God.

 

Published by

Rose Wolfe (Living Free with disAbilities)

Let's get to the elephant first: I have myotonic dystrophy which defines my physical limitations, but it does not define me. Without the distraction of physical activities, I have found my passions: (1) Encouraging others to live more fully with fun, faith, and hope; (2) finding freedom in oil painting; (3) writing about my experiences; and (4) encouraging others to live more passionately. It is my belief that every person lives with at least one disability - for impairments are not limited to those with chronic illnesses. Many neurotypical people are psychological architects who have constructed enclosures in which they trap themselves. Mindsets, attitudes, and perceptions are fluid realities. Many of us have forgotten that it is possible how to live beyond our disabilities. Life may have challenges but faith and hope are within reach. I have made my choice: I am LivingFreeWithdisAbilities.

25 thoughts on “Looking Through a Glass Darkly”

  1. And that’s why I read your blog post Rose. You give hope to those who live in the world of chronic illness. I have a similar belief system. I think we have choice. We can choose which road we turn down. You and I have chosen the road filled with possibility and light. Love and light to you…

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  2. Two or three months into a new job a number of years ago a colleague asked me how the job was going. My response was, “I don’t know.” I explained that while I very much enjoyed my job, it was like driving down a road in the winter. Not till I get to the first curve in the road will I know whether I’m driving on ‘black ice’ or on clear pavement. How my staff and I would deal with challenges was for me the real test of “How is the job going?” You share how you have hit many curves in the road and have not succumbed like someone travelling on ‘black ice’.
    * For readers who haven’t experienced winters with ice and snow. Black ice is a thin transparent layer of moisture that has frozen and turns a regular road into a ice rink, taking the driver by surprise and sending the car out of control when attempting to turn.

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  4. Quote – ‘Just because you believe in something doesn’t make it true.’ Very true. I wonder what life would be like if we were left to either perception or fact. I think there is the cushion in between as life constantly changes and we only know/see so little at the time.

    Do you have likes disabled on the page or did I come back to another wordpress glitch? I liked the post through reader because I cannot on the page. I know my WP theme is one of the themes that is vulnerable to attack (along with thousands of others from what the WP security page said).

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  5. There are indeed those people (I put it down to being so cynical or disenchanted or just born that way) that no matter what you say, they cannot be convinced there are other answers and reasons for our actions. Their own stand alone black and white belief system is scary often, but then you stand back and think how lucky you are not to be that way.

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  6. Rose, you have such a beautiful heart looking after the relatives who weren’t very nice to you. My chronic poor health is deteriorating and I struggle every day to see the light…it is hard when people close to you are constantly negative.
    Love + hugs
    I miss our emails, I hope you are as well as can be.

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      1. Sorry to hear that…
        Is there anything you can do to lessen the load?
        I’ve been looking at those motorized wheelchairs because the scooter is more bulky. It would take me a long time to save. Did you get your replacement one?
        Love + hugs

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      3. Do the electric/motorized wheelchairs quickly wear out? I hope you don’t have to wait too long.
        I suppose I meant the chair feels more compact, more a part of you. With tighter turns.
        My mobility scooter is small, it comes apart to fit in my small car boot/trunk. I’ve seen some enormous ones tho’!

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