I’m Guilty

 

abstract
Artwork by Rose Wolfe

 

I am. I am guilty. We don’t use the word anymore, do we? The only time that we hear the word guilty is when it’s applied to someone who’s committed a crime.  Nevertheless, I will use the word guilty because it applies to me.

I am guilty of having a genetic disease. I carry a debilitating, muscle-wasting criminal in my DNA.  The sentence handed down? The rest of my life spent in prison – barred without walls.   The worst part?  This genetic-code criminal is capable of dwelling in my child’s DNA.

How many people with genetic diseases feel guilty, I wonder?  Who do we tell?  We know that we can’t apply social justice standards. No crime committed. Still, we feel responsible.

For what you might ask?  For the extra load that our partner has to carry, for not being able to participate fully in the lives of our loved ones, or for having to excuse ourselves from functions, for a myriad of reasons.  Still, others may feel, as I do, responsible for our genetic makeup. What can we do?

Pardon ourselves.

Published by

Rose Wolfe (Living Free with disAbilities)

Let's get to the elephant first: I have myotonic dystrophy which defines my physical limitations, but it does not define me. Without the distraction of physical activities, I have found my passions: (1) Encouraging others to live more fully with fun, faith, and hope; (2) finding freedom in oil painting; (3) writing about my experiences; and (4) encouraging others to live more passionately. It is my belief that every person lives with at least one disability - for impairments are not limited to those with chronic illnesses. Many neurotypical people are psychological architects who have constructed enclosures in which they trap themselves. Mindsets, attitudes, and perceptions are fluid realities. Many of us have forgotten that it is possible how to live beyond our disabilities. Life may have challenges but faith and hope are within reach. I have made my choice: I am LivingFreeWithdisAbilities.

14 thoughts on “I’m Guilty”

  1. The internal struggle is real. It can be ignored but that doesn’t make it go away. Rose, I’ve been mulling over the idea that suffering brings with it a sense of honesty. Suffering makes us ‘bump up against’ our limits. Suffering makes us ‘bump up against’ a reality that we need to embrace. Doesn’t mean the answers are forthcoming.

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  2. Your words provided some answers to questions I wish never had to be asked. I feel like I should respond with something as powerful as you’ve published here, but I come up empty. Your post is very brave.

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  6. Exactly…”Pardon ourselves”.
    I suppose the same (sort of) applies to those of us who are incapacitated through non-genetic illnesses too…I often feel like a burden and hate myself for what I can no longer do.
    Love and hugs to you Rose.

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